Interestingly enough, I am closing out 2010 in the exact same fashion that I welcomed it – in my sweats, in my comfy chair, and gunning to be curled up in bed by the New York New Year. That’s about all I can same for the similarities between the years.
What a year. This has been a year of absolute elation and terrifying concerns. Absolutely nothing played out the way I’d envisioned.
When the clock struck midnight 365 days ago, I was sound asleep – dreaming of what the following year would be like. I pictured us a new family of three. Would we have a little boy or a little girl? I envisioned waddling around, glowing with delight as I prepared to welcome a child. I imagined being the guest of honor at a baby shower, opening cutesy baby clothes. I thought the summer would come to a close and I’d find myself cradling a crying and wrinkled newborn while Jon grinned and teared up nearby.
The first curveball came less than a week into the year. We were going to straight to a family of four. The nurse pointed out two blinking dots on the ultrasound screen. It was my first introduction to my two children.
Then I got sick. Turns out, that glow of pregnancy so many people talk about is simply the blood rushing to your face as you arf your guts out.
I didn’t imagine the level of fear that would consume me when my sons were born. I never thought I’d be a preemie parent. I hadn’t fully grasped how much I would fall in love the very second I saw their tiny wriggling bodies beneath the mounds of wires.
I spent this year completely ensconced in a bubble. No world events penetrated my thoughts. I didn’t care what kind of health care plan Obama signed – as long as the muppets were getting the best care right this very second. I sensed that the BP oil spill sucked from a peripheral point of view – as long as there was enough gas to get me to the NICU twice a day I was fine.
Despite the setbacks, 2010 was a year of new arrivals. Friends welcomed new babies, and shared that siblings were on the way. Uncle Paul proposed to Aunt Stephanie, so I’m getting a sister. But by far the biggest celebration of the year was the weekend of August 6. The muppets came home.
2010 saw much heartache and joy and so many milestones. This evening, Jon and I sat on the living room floor with the boys, playing with blocks. Caden sat by himself, with the tiniest bit of support. Logan stood with a little help from Jon. Drool soaked all of us since both boys are teething. And when it came time to say goodnight, the muppets bid their first calendar year goodbye with a grin and a giggle. Who could ask for more?
Life is no longer about me. Laundry can wait. That honey-do project may get done someday. Friends and family have no interest in visiting me; they want to meet the muppets. We’ve given up our identity as Jon and Tricia – we’re the twins’ parents now. It’s the coolest title I will ever achieve.
This year, I have 3 guys to kiss at midnight (Sydney time, London time and New York time respectively). 2011 holds so much possibility – we get to watch little lives discover and develop before our eyes. Just think of how different life will be at the end of 2011. Sure, I’ll still be sitting in my comfy chair gunning for bed by 9. But I’ll be reflecting on a year gone by with toddlers.
Without a doubt, this has been the most amazing year of my life. But I’ll be honest, I’m not sad to see the year become the past. Here’s to the coming year. I wish everyone happiness and health in 2011. May your dreams come true, and may even more memorable events be created from the dreams that don’t precisely play out.
To paraphrase New Year’s Rocking Eve host Ryan Seacrest, “Stream 2010, OUT!”
Double Trouble 